23A036 The State Hardware Monopoly by Jim Davies, 9/5/2023

Did you know that in the State of New Wiltshire, the government operates all hardware stores? It's true. Go check it out, any time.

The rationale for arranging it was clear enough. Domestic "hardware" includes all manner of dangerous devices, so government needs to regulate their sale. Knives, for example, may be needed to slice veggies and meats, but can also be used to cut throats and stab hearts in "domestic disputes", so whenever one is sold the buyer's ID must be recorded. Only a State monopoly retail chain can ensure that that is done.

Same for electrical devices. Householders may hurt themselves when installing plugs, so there must be control over their sales. Likewise for plumbing stuff like blow-torches to melt the lead. And don't get us started, said the legislators when setting up the monopoly, on hammers and drills and saws; the whole scene fairly bristles with dangers, and what is government for, if not to protect people from themselves?

The NW Hardware Monopoly serves frequent and large-scale customers too, and provides a modest quantity discount; these are construction companies and they need to be especially well regulated. Operating all the Outlets makes that easy.

And so the hardware Outlets were established, one within easy reach of every voter, and all products are neatly displayed. Since the State owns all land there's no rent to pay, so the overheads of retailing are lower than in neighboring States so prices are low; there's even some cross-border shopping by those living close to NW. All profits go directly to the State treasury, ready to pay for goodies like schools where the kiddies are taught to respect authority. It's a good deal all around!

The product range offered is considerable, but the staff at NWHM thoroughly check out what they judge to be the best in each type of item and if the one you prefer isn't in the set they choose for the display shelves, you're sadly out of luck. "Competition" is not a word they recognize or welcome. They know better than you.

Naturally, the NWHM has a web site, on which there's a handy Locator so that anyone can find his nearest outlet and see whether there's a Special Sale there on any items. Currently the site is being improved, so on its home page there's a link to say "visit our new site". Click there, and be thrilled by what you see - as copied here, with only minor amendments.

"Enforcement" is of course key to the whole system. The State of New Wiltshire is not primarily a retailer but an enforcer. All its laws need to be obeyed, and that means all rival distributors need to be excluded. That's obvious. Isn't it?

They are setting an example for retailing. What NW does today, the whole Nation may do tomorrow!

The reader may suspect that the above is some kind of spoof. Well, it is - but only just. There really, truly is an enforced retail monopoly in the State of New Hampshire (NH) and the merchandise is not hardware but alcoholic beverages. The clip from its web site, shown above, is genuine and I know of no other retail distributor that boasts a squad of cops to inhibit shopping elsewhere.

NH also forces every vehicle owner to display a license plate bearing the slogan "Live Free or Die". Living there are 1.3 million residents, and not one of them is dead; but nor is one of them free. That must await the coming Zero Government Society.